"...gising na mag sisimba na tayo.." (...wake up we'll go to church..")
..so I'll force my way out of dreamland, to be dressed.. (of course that's after having breakfast and taking a bath.. :) )
It was all just a routine for me..
..I remember my dress that time was usually colored baby blue, hues of pink and almost all of it have ruffles.. :)
After a long bus ride..
We will go down several blocks from the church and start walking along with other devotees..we don't stay for the mass my mother would only utter a silent prayer, maybe about 10-15 mins.then will light a candle..
It doesn't look like this before, it was located on the side of the church. Now they build a separate place where you can lit candles, just like what's shown below.
after lighting a candle.
It's me time.. yey! I don't know if its a reward for behaving or is it because I come along....
but for sure I'll get a toy.. inexpensive toys sometimes its just a doll made of plastic that keeps on blinking whenever you tilt it :) ...it can be a cooking set made of clay (sometimes tin) simple toys that always bring happiness to my heart.
My mother would ask me if I want to eat at Jollibee, maybe its odd but I don't like Jollibee then. I would pout my lips going to a certain location....then she will understand, we will walk at one of the eatery nearby... now I realize I didn't even know the name of the place. It's just a simple eatery serving viads, rice, mami etc.
My order doesn't change, not even once.
SIOPAO ASADO yum! (pork steamed buns)
simple pleasures of my childhood.
Then I don't remember when... but I stop going there with my mother, may be its because of school or something.
I have my own road bumps on my teenage years specially when I left home when I was in 4th year high school. It's just a 1 day adventure though.... but I never thought my feet will bring me then to Shrine of Our Mother of PERPETUAL HELP Redemptorist.
It was a silent morning, there were just a few people at the church.
That's the first time I saw the church that empty I walk from 1 statue to another.
I walk inside till I saw all the station of the cross art work.
I got to see the altar, at a short distance. I usually see it from a far.
I sat at the middle of the church the familiar scent of lighted candles, sampaguita flowers and ylang-ylang fill the air.
Memories just came back rushing that time, from the oldest memory I can remember of that place.
I sat there for a very long time I lost track of time. No where to go.
My mind was really empty that time, but there's one thing am sure of... Am hungry.. I haven't eaten for hours. As expected even after years of not going there I walk the same familiar path to go where I usually eat with my mother... and order the same food.
(: ....fast forward... :)
I went home that night.
(: forward more to the future :)
When I got married we live far from my mother. When my mother decided to buy a house at Las Pinas we would always meet at Shrine of Our Mother of PERPETUAL HELP Redemptorist if she want's me to go with her at the church. But we don't eat at the same eatery anymore its no longer there.
That's where we would meet too if she wants me to go with her for shopping, to fix some documents etc.
(: forward a little more to the future :)
May 2013, my mother died and before we bury my her I went to the church to light a candle for her.
August 7, 2014
.....today I visited my brother who lives at Las Pinas.
While on my way home I just realize my feet bringing me again to Shrine of Our Mother of PERPETUAL HELP Redemptorist.
As I walk towards the church my chest feels heavy inside.. I'm fighting the tears that wants to stream down from my eyes.
Maybe I haven't move on yet...
May be am not yet done mourning my mothers death..
or maybe, just maybe.... it's her little girl inside me that misses her sooo much!
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for Nanay, Tatay and Simone
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"Nanay am here today..."
today am lighting a candle....
....today am uttering a silent prayer...
today am creating another memory at Shrine of Our Mother of PERPETUAL HELP Redemptorist.
(most of the pictures are borrowed and downloaded online to re-create the story that I had--- credits to the owners)
